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Meat the Sluts

 

                 LaTexa D'Vynal
                   Queen Mother/Director 14
The purveyor of the perverted, the keeper of oils, lubes, and Armor-all, The “She’s so tight she squeaks” Rubber Maid Slut to all Denver Cycle Sluts for Life!

Everything surrounding the history of Latexa D’vynal is shrouded in
mystery. As far as the state is concerned she was found left at the
door of a Catholic orphanage named, Our sister of the perpetual
wounds.

Latexa was a precocious child; the nuns always had to tell her that
she was wearing too much makeup!(of course she was only 8)

Latexa developed quicker than a Polaroid picture; she was the only kid
in junior high whose school picture folded out.

Destined for greater things Latexa left school for Europe where she
became the lead singer of an underground punk band named "Spew". While
touring she had a chance encounter with Fellini which led to a small
part in one of his films. Once bitten with the acting bug (among other
things) she went back to United States where she toured night clubs
and discos around the country with her act. Flat busted (I mean she
was broke) she became a showgirl in Vegas at the famed Circus Circus
as the first clown show girl.

After a 10 year stint she grew tired of the scene and develop a slight
gambling problem she headed east to Colorado when in 2003 she join the
Denver cycle sluts. She worked with the group for little over a year
when she suddenly and mysteriously disappeared! Rumors soared, some
say she found God while others say she married a wealthy Arab Sheik. She was reportedly
spotted at a gun show in Arkansas and also at a swap meet in Des Moines.

Then 10 years later a crypt was discovered with Latexa in it.
Foolishly, someone remove the stake that was driven into her heart and
she sprung back to life. Thirsty for the spot lite she once again
called upon her sisters of glitter to entertain the masses.





Zoey Diddim
Queen Mother 10 and 12
"The Petite Pretty Love Goddess Diva to all Denver Cycle Sluts for life! The Absolut Keeper of Cape Cods and Crabs."
Origin: Gottitgoode in France
Favorite Color: Crabgrass Green

Zoey Diddim was born to a loving couple, Andy Diddim and Betty Diddim, in the glamorous city of Gititonne, France. She was later sent off to be raised with a firm but compassionate hand by her guardian/manservant Juan De Steele in the family's summer villa on the shores of Lake Gottitgoode.

Zoey was educated in boarding schools in France and Greece where she excelled in International Relations finally graduating Magna Cum Loudly. After school, she moved to London where she was the sixth Spice Girl until kicked out because they felt Penicillin Spice was the wrong image for success.

Zoey then traveled the world and counts the Sistine Chapel as one of her favorite works of art. 'Nice view while on your back," she has been heard to say.

On a trip to America, Zoey settled down in Denver, Colorado and was quickly hired as a tester for the Colorado Mattress Union, Branch 69. Her desire to be loved while on stage (instead of in the back row) brought her to the famous Denver Cycle Sluts as the Glitter Girl of Global Goodwill. Because of her hard work and tireless devotion to lending a helping hand she was later given the title of The Petite Pretty Love Goddess Diva (and The Absolut  
                                                      Keeper of  Cape Cods and Crabs).






Cookie Fortuna

Mistress of the Mystic Unknown, Goddess of the Crystal Gaze, Gypsy Sister to all Denver Cycle Sluts for Life!

I was born in the wagon of a traveling show in Romania. My Momma used to dance for the money they'd throw. Papa would
do whatever he could -- preach a little gospel or sell a couple bottles of "Dr. Good." Thus my life as a traveling gypsy began and 
was stolen to become a hit song for Cher. 

 Legal negotiations for royalty rights are still going on.

As a child Cookie had a broad education including many of the noble arts of divination. She became so inept at seeing through the crystal balls that she soon took a licking to them. The cards can tell much if only we know when to hold them or when to fold them. She can also divine, through the thickest of hair, the palms of the fortunate few who have found true love within themselves. 

Because Cookie was so gifted in reading the future, the Family had a special wagon that would chauffeur her to her enlightenment classes. It was sound proof and heavily padded for the greatest comfort. Thus, it is Cookie's ethereal pleasure to pleasure those that seek the true truth and have the world revealed to them through her worldly gift of wordy goodness. 

Since she was bestowed with the gift of the sight, Cookie clearly saw in her own future a chance to help others. She picked enough cash from the pockets of the men who came to see her that she was able to buy a ticket from her family to a new adventure. 

Cookie landed in Denver and was guided by her spirits to a bar and to a group who would take her in, embrace her as family, and help her find my next calling. 

So, Cookie Fortuna became a Denver Cycle Slut. 





Jack-Lynn Hyde 
 
We are waiting on an appropriate photo and a true bio to come from the laboratory. Security is a bit tight due to a few unfortunate accidents. 




Cherri Chola
We are trying to read the graffiti to get her history.

Kay Hausensues
Does anyone speak German who can interpret?
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