Meat the Sluts
Current Queen Mother Director
Queen Mother Director 11
"The Big-Footed Beauty from the Backwoods, The Princess of Primates, The Hairy Hostess of Humor to All Denver Cycle Sluts for Life!"
Origin:Saskatchewan, Canada & Hump Tulips, Oregon
Favorite Color: Trampy Turquoise
Sassy Squatch was born near a small stream in the remote mountains of Saskatchewan, Canada. Sassy was raised and home schooled by her single-parent mother, Summer. The only information Summer would share about Sassy’s father was that he was somewhat of a legend back in the Boggy Creek area of the southern United States.
As Sassy grew and grew, the desire to find her dad also grew and grew. She decided to leave home to search for her father, making her way down through Canada into the U.S. She eventually made her was through Montana and Idaho into the state of Washington and then on to Oregon. Because Sassy was a bit shy, she traveled mostly at night and on back roads, only being seen by the occasional hiker or camper.
Due to a bad case of swollen feet, Sassy had to abandon her search for her father. She took up residence in the woods outside of Hump Tulips, Oregon, but quickly became bored staying in one place. She decided to migrate south and ended up settling down near Bluff Creek, California. However, after some locals videotaped her while she was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods, she decided once again to move on.
While walking through the mountains near Reno, Nevada, a traveling circus stopped an offered Sassy a job. She saw this as an excellent opportunity to help her raise money to get her Associate’s Degree in Animal Husbandry (via Sally Struthers’ correspondence school).
In March 2006, Sassy and the circus made their way to Denver, Colorado. One evening, after a very big show, Sassy decided to go out for a drink and a taste of the Denver nightlife. She stopped at a bar on Broadway for a lively game of bingo and to her great surprise, she ran into several girls that immediately became like sisters to her. And the rest is - hairy history.
Queen Mother 10
"The Petite Pretty Love Goddess Diva to all Denver Cycle Sluts for life. The Absolut Keeper of Cape Cods and Crabs."
Origin: Gottitgoode in France
Favorite Color: Crabgrass Green
Zoey Diddim was born to a loving couple, Andy Diddim and Betty Diddim, in the glamorous city of Gititonne, France. She was later sent off to be raised with a firm but compassionate hand by her guardian/manservant Juan De Steele in the family's summer villa on the shores of Lake Gottitgoode.
Zoey was educated in boarding schools in France and Greece where she excelled in International Relations finally graduating Magna Cum Loudly. After school, she moved to London where she was the sixth Spice Girl until kicked out because they felt Penicillin Spice was the wrong image for success.
Zoey then traveled the world and counts the Sistine Chapel as one of her favorite works of art. 'Nice view while on your back," she has been heard to say.
On a trip to America, Zoey settled down in Denver, Colorado and was quickly hired as a tester for the Colorado Mattress Union, Branch 69. Her desire to be loved while on stage (instead of in the back row) brought her to the famous Denver Cycle Sluts as the Glitter Girl of Global Goodwill. Because of her hard work and tireless devotion to lending a helping hand she was later given the title of The Petite Pretty Love Goddess Diva (and The Absolut Keeper of Cape Cods and Crabs).
Born April 3, 1979 with her tongue sticking out and a fabulous blue,
mini, glitter beard baby Diane enters this world. Needlees to say she
weighed a whopping 10 pounds.
Her parents Juan and Anita Tolickya feared baby Diane's ravenous appetite as she always loved and craved meat. White meat, dark meat, salami, sausage; you name it, and one point that girl had some kind of meat in her mouth.
Growing up in French Lick, Indiana was'nt the easiest for Diane as she developed a desire for seeking out tasting other meats the world had to offer. Leaving her mother behind who was a stay at home envelope
stuffer/licker was hard to do. At only 19, Diane decided to travel and see where she ended up. She never really saw her father since he worked endless hours at the Blow Pop Tootsie Roll factory. Diane tried working there as well, but was soon fired for licking the wrong thing. Her only job was to be one of the official Blow Pop taste tester for future new flavors.
Leaving her past behind, Diane moved to Colorado. She became the first woman to offer all-tongue sensual massages where she incorporated certain fruits, vegetables and alcohol. Bad mix now that I think of it. Anyway, needless to say that did'nt last long being her first client was an undercover cop. Let's just say things
got a little sticky, but not in a good way for Diane.
With her massage parlor now closed, down on her luck, 25 and single, she walks past Hamburger Mary's. She sees a Slut Search Competition going on through the window. It sparks her interest as she sees all of the colors. It reminded her of the good 'ol days when she said no, no, no to rehab. The glitz, glamor, glitter, outfits and closeness between the Slut sisters made Diane feel she found her new family. She competed in the contest versus Sue Nami and came out victorious. Diane had become that year's Slut Search winner which she is greatful to now have the opportunity to lick every gorgeous man who attends Slut Bingo! There's
no turning back, baby!
* We do not currently have a biography for Ms. Flor, as she was too busy writhing on the carpet.
* We do not currently have a biography for Ms. Man, as she is currently hunting bears.
Bea was born to the parents of Paul Lynn and Liberace in Las Vegas 29 years ago, her only sibling Vea Jazzle and her grew up in a loving, beautiful and sparkly house. Bea was the first in her kindergarten class to graduate with sparkly honors. She was the first to walk the playground in 6” platform heels at the age of five. At the age 7 Bea was already 6 foot tall, and all the other kids did not understand her glittery magic and refused to let her play with them. So Bea started dancing on the monkey bars and it wasn't long before her skirts were over her head and she was inching up the long hard steel equipment in the playground. Soon her abilities began to outshine the dull drum of the concrete box of elementary school. Soon after that, their parents took them to live in Palm Springs but the heat shrivled all of her beautiful shiny glittery makeup, so her family moved back to Las Vegas so they could hide in the comfortable cage of air conditioning. It wasn’t too surprising Bea became the star of every production all through high school. Bea was a sparkle in the rough in the halls with her beautiful bouffant hair and her short short skirts and glittered like a disco ball had never glittered before. At 7 feet tall, Bea was the most popular girl in school, is it because she could always be found underneath the bleachers. Bea loved to go to school and she loved learning on her knees. She graduated with honors, no gag reflex, and the most visits to the free clinic than anyone else in the student body.
Bea grew up loving the sparkly lights of downtown but she left not too long after her 18th birthday, because of some boi. She packed up her make up bags and stiletto heels and moved to Omaha to learn the dance trade from the grind up. This is where she learned to spin on a pole so fast that she look like a tornado, and soon trailer parks were being wrecked all over the mid-west. The boi was soon lost and forgotten about. But that didn’t stop her, she wanted to travel and do men from other cultures, sometimes more than one at a time.
Her constant curiosity is what got her jobs working the back alleyways and in the dennisons of the dumpsters of the finest hotels in Omaha and eventually back in Las Vegas where she met some of the finest and most talented men on the face of the earth. She was crowned the Duchess of the Dumpster in 1995 by popular opinion.
Unfortunately for her it was her curiosity I got her into trouble when she discovered late one night what a certain celebrity chef was putting into his secret sauce. The secret was no longer a secret and the chef slipped back away into oblivion. For her safety she went into the witness protection program and was relocated to Denver Colorado.
During the summer of 2010 while making some hump change, Bea found a group of beautiful babes selling their wares at Hamburger Mary’s. She met the leader of the pack, and forged a relationship with her and rest of the group. They had so much in common and in July of that same year she was invited to join them in their adventures. Now she loves her new home and her new coven of sistas.
* We do not currently have a biography for Ms. Cox, as it's usually hard to understand her with her mouth full.
* We do not currently have a biography for Ms. Fondle, as she was distracted by something shiny.