February, the month of “Love”, Mardi Gras,
Fat Tuesday and Lent! Funny how that works, somebody must have thought
were having too much fun! To keep the fun happening here’s this month’s
Slut” and come join us at Hamburger Mary’s Club M for “Slave to Love
Friday the 12 at 9PM.
Dear Cycle Sluts, My boyfriend has been giving
me excuses recently as to why I can't
come over. I found out from his roommate that every time my guy has told
can't come by it's because he's bumping uglies with his Ex! I was about
his rent for him! What do you think I should do?
Sharon MaGoodies: Dump him girl. Let
me tell you,
first it's paying rent and next thing you know you're bailing them out
and supporting his crack habit and it ain't the good kinda crack if you
what I mean.
McKuzins: I think you
should find yourself a little sumpin'-sumpin' on the side. And quit
rent. A whore should put out. No cash, no cunt!
Zoey Diddim: Use the money you would
have spent on
his rent to buy a more attentive playmate. My rates are reasonable.
Sassy Squatch: First thing,
put away the checkbook! If he wants to screw his ex, let the ex pay his
Fair is fair!
Cocktail: You've paid
enough. He's isn’t your boyfriend, he’s a trick pure and simple. Kick
the curb and look for “Mr. Right Now”, you'll find “Mr. Right” soon.
Winnie Bego: I'll
let ya pay for a month of the Winnie Bego! I need some new
Cycle Sluts, My boyfriend and I made plans to meet for breakfast
last week. At the
last minute he called and asked if he could bring a friend. It turns out
"Friend" was his trick from the night before! While my boyfriend was
in the bathroom the Trick hit on me and we met later for a "Revenge
Fuck"! Now I feel guilty. Should I?
Good For The Goose...?"
Zoey: Now you can tell your boyfriend
what happened and the two of you can pick up a third to share.
Sounds like the best thing you got out of that boyfriend was the
and breakfast! Lose the Loser!
OH MY! You
gay bois sure will bump uglies with anything these days.
Marion: Don't feel
guilty, Sweetie. You're the better fuck.
If I had a dollar every time a queen asked me this question, well, I'd
dollar. You should feel guilty you whorish piece of trash.
The proper way to handle this situation is to have a three way!! You
take them both on and then move on. Trying to juggle the boys can drive a
person crazy ( I should know, but I am a professional so do not try this
Dear Cycle Sluts, I've recently been going out
with a guy that only calls me when he
needs money. I pay whenever we go out. I even buy him groceries when he
is out of food. I get sex out of the deal, but it seems to cost more all
time! I think I’m developing feelings for him! Should I end it?
it cost you to get your Willy Waxed now? I’m sure I can give you a
and I only raise my prices once a year for cost of living increases!
Daddy Warbucks, you should probably hire a
plumber to pull your self-esteem out of the toilet, and a proctologist
your head out of your ass! It ALWAYS costs more and more. Just ask
Well, let me just say it again, first
starts out by paying for drinks, then groceries, next thing you know
bailing them out of jail, Oh hell, just read question one! I don't feel
like typing that all out again.
My question is, are you willing to
share him? After all, you are his Sugar Daddy and he is a hustler.
Winnie: HMMMMMM, I
sure could use a sugar daddy! But NO free weekends in
the Winnie Bego! You gotta pay to ride this ride.
Molotovia: DUMP HIM. The pro boys are
cheaper than rent
and they don't keep charging unless you keep ordering. Pick a new man
and get a
bank statement or last two pay stubs on the first date. Bring yours also
and save both of you a lot of time!
Sluts, Last year while having Valentines dinner out, my partner
dumped me! We
got back together but the relationship has been rocky. I'm afraid that
do it to me again this year! Do you think I should beat him to the punch
dump him first?
Winnie: Hell Ya
gurl! Kick his ass to the curb!
think you should punch him and then take a dump on him. Those who deal
Did he dump you before the main course or did
he wait until dessert? That could be important.
Sweetie, it’s not about who dumps who first! It’s about who leaves the
relationship with the most expensive jewelry!
Molotovia: OMG are you all
gluttons for punishment. Once they are EX’s that means they are past. I
even watch a rerun on TV much less revisit a bad relationship.
Sharon: Yes, but wait till he buys you
something nice first. Valentine ’s Day is the perfect day for a new
necklace. Better yet, dump him right before he gives you the pearl
necklace and leave him with blue balls!
Sluts, I'd like to know which you like better, a sweet
passionate night of "making love" or a meaningless night of filthy
kinky "animal sex”?
I don’t understand! Are you trying to tell me they’re not the same
are when I do it!
me up for a meaningless night of filthy, kinky, "animal sex" for
each night of the week! But don't expect breakfast...and this ain't
"Cheers" - I don't want to know your name.
Zoey: I prefer making love with a
stranger behind the dumpster. It's so romantic. Filthy, Kinky animal sex
like seeing Sassy in leather.
need to come over to my house and show me what you mean by "love" and
"kinky" Once I have been satisfied then I’ll let you know.
Sharon: Please gurl. I don't think
I've ever "made love", it just sounds so boring. I'm
all up for a 30 second romp in a bathroom and never having to see or
to that person again. Just be careful where you do it because I hear
dude at the “W” gets all up in your biz if you do it there!
Winnie: Oh Lord,
like you have to ask. Hell, let’s go for a full weekend of
kinky animal sex. But let me change the shocks on the ole Winnie Bego
We hope we’ve been informative and entertaining, but
that’s all we have time for. Check us
out in the next issue of The Gayzette
and keep those questions coming to: The
Denver Cycle Sluts (Ask-a-Slut).